I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
