Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
