Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
