girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
These tits shall not be calmed
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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