Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
