took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
