with your own penis?
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
I need water and some morals
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
