he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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