I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
