and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
