He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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