I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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