i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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