the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
