i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
