Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
