I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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