You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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