Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
