You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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