so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
