I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
