yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
