Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Randomize
