Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize
