After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I'm getting married
To pizza
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
