My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
