So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
