I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
