I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
