I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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