Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
What drink are we having for lunch?
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
