so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
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