Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize