I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
