you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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