I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
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