she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I'm both gender and math confused
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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