Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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