"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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