Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
