this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
This baby is an asshole
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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