We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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