so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize