Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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