Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
