I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize