i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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