C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
another moral hangover. fuck.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
Randomize
