please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
