she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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