Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
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