You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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