he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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