I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
