glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
