Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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