This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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