Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
