i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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